That was today. I had a laundry list of things that I needed to get done. 4 stops. Might as well have been 4,000 with a 21 month old with way too much energy and snot.
Stop 1- BB's. Mission- get coffee for my friend Carla and a little more for me. (They had Starbucks for $2.99!) Anyway- meltdown number 1 occured and we waited in line 10 minutes too long for my cranky kiddo. Got back in the car and drove 20 minutes up to Wyomissing.
Stop 2- Michaels. I needed to return some fabric paint and get a fabric marker instead (Project to come). I got up to the checkout, made the return and had all the stuff rung up and then realized my wallet was in the car. Walk all the way back out to the car, get my wallet, and then get back in line and wait for another 5 minutes. Everett's doing okay while I feed him every snack I have.
Stop 3- Dick's Sporting Goods. I needed to exchange Aaron's new rugby cleats because they were damaged. Of course, they didn't have any more size 12 purple cleats, but they did have oranges that the guy said were comparable. I call Aaron to confirm those would work and Everett starts throwing his sippy cup and yelling to get out of his stroller. Quick hang up on husband and up to the front I go to exchange them, and I'm met with more crazy lines. When I get to the front of said line, the lady won't exchange them and they are $10 more expensive. Everett's still whining and the people behind me are giving me that "hey lady freaking hurry up and just buy the shoes" looks. Cashier calls manager after I won't buy the orange shoes and I get her to give me $5 off. I'm so frazzled I swipe my card and practically run out of the store. At this point, any sane mother would just get to the car and drive home. But no, I had one more store to go to and since it was right next door I decided we were going to do it, regardless of the possibilities.
Stop 4- Target. I had a couple of things that I needed to return and random groceries and gifts to pick up. Everett is tired and hungry and so am I. We get as far as the women's clothes section before he is begging me to sit in the cart instead of the seat. As long as he's happy and I can get stuff done quickly, I don't mind. Bad decision. He spent the remainder of the trip standing up, sitting down when I asked him, standing up, then sitting down. Again and again. It was at this point that I started to lose my sanity a bit. I had literally asked him to stay sitting at least 30 times, we were out of snacks, and I still had shopping I needed to finish. So, I did exactly what I vowed never to do. I went right over to the candy section, grabbed a bag of lollipops, and opened it up right there. He was of course overjoyed and I was happy he was sitting (which lasted for 2 minutes). Up a few aisles, I grab a can of spaghetti sauce because that's the kind of day it's been, put it into the front of my cart (because Everett's in the back) and the can falls right out the front and breaks open all over aisle 8. I flag down, explain aisle 8, and apologize profusely to a Target employee and then make a beeline for checkout. I, of course, chose the line where the people were paying with some type of rebate check and their new employee Ben was bagging at an insanely slow rate. Everett is now on lollipop #2 and a full on sticky mess. As we made our way to the car, so were the bags since Everett wanted to touch every single one.
When I finally got him in the car, cleaned off his hands, and got myself to the drivers seat I couldn't help but just sit there- completely and utterly tired and frustrated. Not really with Everett but really more frustrated with myself. Frustrated that the prayer I prayed with Everett while eating breakfast this morning- the one about being patient and kind and loving one another today- I had failed miserably at. How quickly I had forgotten that prayer from a few hours before. I had lost my patience with him multiple times. I had expected him to be an angel for 2.5 hours while I checked off my to-do list. I had been anything but patient and slow to anger. So, I asked forgiveness. I asked my 21 month old to forgive me for not being patient and loving and kind and asked him if we could start over. You know what he said? Well, he didn't say sure mom, but he did forgive me. I knew he forgave me by the way he smiled at me and kissed me and played happily with me the rest of the day until nap time. And, I asked God to forgive me. To forgive me for being so dang impatient. For being so selfish and wanting everything to go my way all the time, exactly the way I planned.
Being a mom is hard. It teaches me so many truths about myself, some of which I don't think I always want to know. Today, I learned how impatient I am, how quick my son is to forgive me, and how thankful I am that God does the same.