Thursday, December 5, 2013

the last time

Today in the car I told Everett we were going to go to a CA-prise (surprise) on our way home from bible study. To which he replied, no mommy its a SURPRISE. It caught me off guard. When did he stop saying that? Did I miss it somehow?

I've been thinking a lot about this lately. Everett is getting into a stage where he wants to be mister independent. He wants to get his own drink, pick out his own clothes, and buckle himself in. On more than one occasion that he's let me know he'll hold his own hand in the parking lot, which is hilarious and terrifying all at once. It got me thinking. I wonder when will be the last time that I help him do something or the last time he will say something adorably wrong or the last time he'll want me to do something with him. Will I recognize that's the last time? Will I remember those moments? I realized just the other day that he has stopped calling Graham "baby brother Graham buddy" and I think it's actually been months since he last said that?!

I think sometimes that phrase "enjoy every minute" can be overwhelming for a mom of two little boys. They keep me busy and tired and on my toes; however, I think that phrase came about because for so many people they forgot that these years would end. The years where Everett tells me I'm "the great mommy in the whole wide world." The ones where he asks me to take a nap with him every single day. The ones where he cries every time I leave and tells me "but mommy I love you - I don't want you to go!" I know that I will miss his little voice, and the way he fiercely loves me, and the way he always, always wants me around. And, so those moments that those people can't get back? I've got them. I've got them right now to enjoy and live in and appreciate. Every day won't be perfect, but there are moments of goodness in all of it. And I don't ever want to be the old woman at the grocery store telling someone to savor these moments, because I didn't get the chance to when my kids were little.

So here's to appreciating as many of these moments as I can. Here's to living in the now so that when it is one of those "last times" comes, that I know I've enjoyed the heck out of them.


Jan said...

You need to journal those lines and put them in each of the boys baby books! They are too precious to not remember!

Katie @ Loves of Life said...

such beautiful perspective. every day can feel knee-deep...but we have to remember the sweetness of this time. Even though its SO!hard! sometimes.